And once again we take a break before revealing the number one movie of the year to take a look at some of the worst movies that 2016 has delivered.
[divider]Suicide Squad[/divider]
Suicide Squad might be the most degrading experience I’ve suffered, not just as a DC fanboy, not just as a comic book fan, but simply, as a homo sapien possessing intellect.
To understand my fury for this drivel of Warner’s attempt at their own Guardians of the Galaxy, let’s first come to an understanding that Suicide Squad is less a movie and more a badly edited 130-minute school project requiring all your classmates to appear in the film while using your favourite songs from that Spotify playlist you’ve been telling your friends about.
Let’s face it: you do not give a fuck about what happened in the movie. Given that the whole thing played out with a “what if Michael Bay pretended to be David Goyer while writing, Guy Ritchie while directing, James Herbert while editing, and James Gunn while building the soundtrack,” it’s amazing that people still consider this a movie at all.
And let’s not even get started on the joker. (Yes, it’s intentionally not a proper noun, ‘cause fuck you if you think that that fuckwad deserves to be called The Joker.)
[divider]Independence Day: Resurgence[/divider]
The first Independence Day is quite possibly my favourite alien invasion movie… which isn’t saying much ‘cause I’ve never been a fan of the genre.
Regardless, it’s one of the few movies that didn’t spiral into sci-fi dribble and kept things simple and to-the-point… None of that can be said for the sequel.
[divider]Batman V Superman[/divider]
I don’t really know what to say about this movie. Up till watching this, I truly never believed that no superhero movie could be worse than Fant4stic. Then again, until then I thought nothing could be worse than Man of Steel (which stole its position from Green Lantern, which in turn stole its position from the previous Fantastic Four).
I really wanted to like this movie. I was hoping it’d present something that would make the Man of Steel forgivable. Maybe at the end of this movie, Superman would fly around the world and make both movies not happen.
Instead, all we received was a 3-hour plot hole with some sinew of story, heavy-handed Christ imagery (Superman is based on Moses, guys—get over it), a concluding plot device (MARTHA!) that only special kinda special fucktards equate to the ending revelation of Captain America: Civil War.
All-in-all, BVS was a lesson in what not to do for your next big superhero franchise. The good thing? Good riddance to Nolan, Goyer, and all their leftover Dark Knight rubbish.