You are walking home after work on a Thursday night, itching for the weekend to begin. What makes everything worse is the fact that Pokemon Go has completely drained the battery on your phone, and you have nothing interesting with which to engage yourself. As you walk, you stare at the cracks on the ground and notice how your feet fit perfectly within the tiles. But…
The repulsive cracks ruin the perfection of your glorious steps; they are almost a monstrosity that would reign destruction on you, should you step on a single one.
You then succumb to what almost every human does in times of extreme boredom – playing the treacherous game of “don’t step on the cracks!”
Unlike chess and foosball, Steppy Pants is a game that had a human version first. Just like the physical version of the game, the mobile game is free of pomp and requires nothing of its player but simple forward movement that can be controlled with tap and hold gestures.
The game becomes a challenge when you encounter varying tile sizes, and vehicles, and in the event that you step on a crack, your loony, ragdoll character restarts the game from your previous 20m check point along the endless roadway.
There are other comical ways to lose as well, like taking a step too wide and hitting your character’s crotch (ouch), getting rammed by a car, or stepping on TNT and flying across the screen in a pixelated explosion. If you’re big of GIFs, the game allows the option of exporting GIFs of your character’s death (it’s a lot funnier than it sounds).
Ultimately, the goal is to take as many steps as you can… except this version’s more fun ’cause you actually get rewarded in the form of coins that you pick up along the way.
The gacha-styled, slot machine reward, though constant, keeps Steppy Pants appealing enough for you to actively want to engage in infuriating tap-walking. Once you collect a hundred coins, you get to unlock one of the many costume parts in the game to dress your character with.
The rewards totally kick ass – you never get rewarded same costume part more than once, and sound effects vary (equipping skeleton legs create a toppling noise every time you fall). Most awesomely, there are also a Hogwarts uniform and a Power Rangers costume!
For the butter-fingered player that cannot take many steps successively, the overall distance counter in the game will ease your dejection and somewhat ensure that you are always making game progress. If it makes you feel any better, you also get to walk your way sniggeringly past your allies’ characters as you beat their high scores, and the game also has ‘special deliveries’ every few hours that allow you to get coins without having to bust your fingers (and temper) with continuous gameplay
The graphics of the game will charm you if you’re a fan of 3D pixel art, and they go extremely well with the overall aspect and sound effects of the game, which are light-hearted and goofy.
However, it is easy to look past the washed out colours and dangly characters in this game to notice that it is very similar to the one made popular by Crossy Roads. Well… surprise, they’re both from different developers.
The game also tends to drain a lot of battery, and has pasty colours that will make your eyes hurt from continuous gameplay (more so than other games) so you’ll most likely end up where you started; alone on the road home, trying not to step on any cracks.
As much as the lack of variation in the game’s setting, backdrop and mechanics are what contribute to the simplicity of the game, this is also what will eventually make you want to delete it because you got bored – but that is not to say that there is no initial thrill in gameplay.
Steppy Pants is a whimsical game that you are going to find difficult to keep away from – but like any other game, the effect does not last for long. The simplicity of the game can be enjoyed in moderation, with rewards that will put less strain on the frustration that you will feel.