Kids, in the spring of twenty-twenty, we were all trapped at home.
It was an especially hard spring after an especially hard twenty-nineteen. Your aunt Lily was beginning to realise that she might be a witch (and a little bit gay). Uncle Marshall was obviously having a hard time accepting things–no, not about Lily, we were all cool about that–he was distraught over Star Wars ending… again. And uncle Barney… well, as you know, it turned out he’s a lot gay and was happily married to your uncle Scooter.
Your Aunt Robin, however… wasn’t handling staying indoors very well. With all of her pet dogs now dea–at a farm… in Canada… Yes, a farm in Canada! She was now stuck with having to deal with living alone. Obviously, she handled it pretty well at the start. After years of travelling for her “top-secret” job for the US government, she enjoyed being grounded for a while. That is, until she was told to stay home. And, well…
Kids, you remember that your aunt Robin was once a pop star in Canada called Robin Sparkles? She had a relatively successful, but short-lived career, and even hosted a TV programme.
And while she usually liked to pretend that Robin Sparkles never happened (other than that one time at Justin Trudeau’s inauguration), she’s been known to break out into Sandcastles in the Sand after a bottle of Glen McKenna… or even P.S. I Love You if uncle Barney starts talking about how men are easier to be with.
So it was pretty worrying when your mom suddenly saw this on Instag–well, this programme you use on your GryzzlPad: